Regardless of how much life unfolds before me, there continues be moments when fear grips me; afraid of what might be.
Because I’ll always have days I consider the ‘what-ifs’ and wonder how I’ll survive, because this is the cost that comes with being human…
Over five months ago when Joe and I sat hunched over his desk calling family and telling them his diagnosis life felt heavy and hard. But the moment we decided to choose worship over worry,
God lifted that heaviness and ushered in hope.
Family and friends began forwarding us songs and these songs began filling our time and our hearts. Because worship has a way of removing those things we often put in the place of God and gives hope.
Hope doesn’t mean there will always be good news, because we don’t put our hope in good diagnoses…hope resurrects itself when we place our lives in God’s hands, trusting him to carry us through.
When we choose worship, worry can’t exist in our hearts at that very same time.
Every moment of every day we must choose one or the other.
And the truth is:
Worry is what we’re humanly prone to in times of struggle and in suffering.
It’s the path our brains naturally take unless we give them another place to rest.
At the time, we had no idea the relief worship would bring to our worry.
We had never activated it like this.
But It was if heaven handed it to us like a prescription for our days ahead.
Yet when we began choosing to press play every time we found relief and peace.
And if I’m being honest we’re in another testing of our faith these days as Joe has just a little over one week of treatments left.
You see, this type of aggressive cancer has been known to leave hidden remnants within its victims, coming back with a vengeance.
When Joe finishes these treatments his body’s battle is not over.
Because although the cancer outwardly is not showing itself it can hide and return with no warning and the Drs have warned us to be vigilant…
And this is because they know their enemy well.
Isn’t this how God wants us to face our enemy, the devil?
He’s warned us of his tactics and told us to be on guard and yet so many of us are surprised and ill-prepared by his attacks.
What if we recognized one of his greatest schemes of these days is…worry?
And rather than submitting ourselves to the panic attacks, what if we chose to worship God instead?
I understand it’s not our natural go to…
But it is the relief our souls are really needing.
Because when we choose to worship God we take all our worries and set them before all of Heaven. We engage heaven’s armies in the battles we face and we set ourselves on the winning team rather than getting lost in our anxieties.
Just last night my chest felt all too heavy as I laid beside Joe. Because the honest truth is he’s still fighting so many hard things.
And my heart aches seeing him suffer. And when you watch the ones you love struggle in ways they’ve never done you wonder if this is how it will be. So, I did what we’ve been doing in times like this and pressed play on our playlist.
And as soon as I did we both fell into God’s peace.
None of our problems got solved, we still don’t know how all of this will play out.
But what we do know is, God is with us through every minute of every day and he’s with you too!
You see, I’ve always struggled with inklings of worry.
I’ve not always admitted it, but I am now.
I guess that’s because God has a way of showing us how he wants us to live differently.
So, when this thing crashed into our home instead of doing life like we’ve always done it we decided to rise differently.
And the reason we’ve been fervently telling our story is in hopes that maybe you will too.
Because instead of allowing worry to fill our chests and all the ‘what-ifs’ consume our thoughts -we decided to uncover it all before God and allow him to handle it all.
This doesn’t mean it’s been easy and it doesn’t mean we’ve not struggled through.
Because choosing worship doesn’t mean you never will;
It merely means you’ll choose to worship through your worries when they come up too.
You see worshiping through these days has actually allowed me to face my struggle with anxiety and led me to seek help.
Because worship does something holy not only in the presence of God but it does it within the heart of the worshiper as well.
I had to make these changes, because God knew something needed to change. But the thing about changing is -it requires honesty and letting our hearts bleed out. We become unashamedly vulnerable and this is what truly brings healing.
Because a beautiful thing happens when we share our wounds, others uncover theirs too.
Here, we quit hiding what’s underneath and we hurt together, and it’s here we heal together.
Because in sharing our stories we ease the pain we’ve been carrying around and we bring relief to the broken.
And friend, this is the mysteriously beautiful thing we find as we gather in worship….Because its in worship hearts get revealed and are healed.