trading stories and broken hearts

I love trading stories with people because in the process of doing this we open up stories of our hearts and invite others in…this is where we become real and our lives become relatable.

Connections form and healing happens within the sharing of our stories.

…There was a time in the history, {I say ‘history’ because it truly feels like ages ago even though it’s really only years ago} during the crazy & mostly beautiful time of raising our four boys.
One of our sons proclaimed something both hilarious and heartbreaking.

We were riding in the car where frankly a lot of our conversations took place…honestly I vaguely remember why I’d just told him ‘no’ to something but his witty reply still makes me laugh…
He forcefully clapped his hands together like two cymbals clashing and said…
‘Mom, you’re a dream-crusher’.

At first you might think he was being disrespectful but this wasn’t his tone at all…He was distinctly letting me know the impact my ‘no’s’ were having on his life lately…

To which I of course had NO reply.

You see, he was right…
As a mom I’ve always been more protective than the one who encourages them off the cliffs they’re hovering over.

From his perspective I was keeping him from living a wild and adventurous life he was dreaming about.
His risky dreams were limitless and he felt as if I was standing in the way of them coming true.

Today this phrase still brings up a lot of laughter in our family.
But for me, there’s something a bit daunting about it as well.
Because buried deep inside his response was some real pain.

And this is why I believe that some of our dreams get crushed…so God can put them back together along with us.

You see, he wasn’t just wildly chasing dreams, he was running toward another road. Because the one he was on was full of stone throwers and dream crushers…

Sometimes that’s how it is….
Life hurts so badly that we think running away will somehow help us forget.
So we shrug off our pain with a simple joke-
when what we’re really aching for,
is to be heard and believed….
Because far too many times we’ve tried to uncover our pain to only become wounded again.

We humans have a really hard time empathizing with one another…to sit in the presence of brokenness.
I truly believe we somehow fear becoming broken in the process.

It’s as if we struggle to let someone unfold their hurt before we begin bandaging their wounds.

I know because I do it too…
I sometimes find myself walking around it and dreading it…until it crashes into someone’s life I love and then I can’t seem to get it off my heart and mind.

And it’s here I realize…some things in life just need a chance to bleed before they’ll clot and be able to heal….

And this is when we need to remember
-we’re all battling our own version of brokenness…
broken relationships…
broken dreams…
broken hearts…
until pretty soon we end up feeling all too broken to find healing.
…and honestly the best relief for our throbbing soul is
for someone to come inside our brokenness and tell us
they know what its like to survive the breaking of a heart.

Friend, this is the beauty of sharing our story;
because stories have a peculiar way of permeating into others’ souls and finding their way into ours all at the same time.

We first hear stories when we’re very young and quickly discover that we come most alive inside of other’s stories.

So we trade our story, inviting others into our lives.

Here’s my story and there’s your story and in some strange way we become woven into a beautiful story of our own.
And in the stitching of our hearts there’s a mending of souls taking place….some deep soul healing that happens.

The truth is I’m never sure how much the penning of my experiences helps you find your healing or where I’ll end up in mine.

But what I am certain of;
although life sometimes feels like it’s falling apart at the seams
there’s something very beautiful that happens in the mending…
whether it’s a heart we’re stitching back together or just one of our favorite sweaters….both find value rather than being tossed aside!

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