The most surprising thing about painful seasons is they don’t kill you…

As I’ve been dealing with an anxious heart lately I’ve been learning to get curious…

You see anxiety on the surface is always a symptom of something much deeper.

And a discovery into that deep space can get messy and a bit uncomfortable but always results in a deeper knowledge of one’s heart.

Because holding your breath and feeling your heart race only lasts so long before you need to find another way of surviving.

And panic and anxiety have a way of telling us we need to control our surroundings in order to get some relief. But the truth is-relief comes when we loosen our grip on what we’re trying to control and release it to God.

As we’re in the midst of the holiday season there’s surely a great deal of us who need some relief from the tightening of our chests.

But sometimes it feels easier to hold our breath and push through it. To be our own version of expectations and deadlines.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

What makes us believe we have something BIG to prove when we’re really just crying out inside?

I remember years ago wondering though if the season we were in was going to suck the life out of me.

We often refer to the Job years because of all the piled up hard that was whirling around us. I even decided to write it all day knowing that one day when things seemed a bit easier I wouldn’t believe all we went through. It’s written down in one of my books on my shelf.

And when those seasons seem to crawl into our lives we can feel like we don’t know if we’ll end up in a psychiatric ward or a casket….

But years later I can assure you I ended up in neither of those places. Instead I’m in a new season of life with those memories years behind me and much richer from them.

They’re actually what has made me stronger and more compassionate these days.

I remember older people telling me there’s something holy about the hard days. They were right! You just got to get through them and they’ll

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