What Suffering is Teaching Us

No matter how many times I recover there’s always these moments in the hard days when I have to do a whole lot of talking to myself and recount the ways God has brought me back to life before.

Because its way too easy for us to feel swallowed up in our struggles and get lost in our hurt.

And if we’re being real its easy to crawl into bed at night wondering how we will ever be able to survive another day like today and yet discover the beauty of how the morning has a way of washing it all away.

Friends, this is the rhythm that’s been happening all too often for me.
In fact it was the story I told myself just last night and Joe can speak to its truth.
The poor guy is fighting his own kind of battle and then he has to hear me spill my aching heart out…
but we’ve always done it this way.

No matter what kind of battle we’re buried in we’ve learned we’re better when we fight it together.

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It can be really hard to walk through the pain of suffering.
It’s much easier to look for a way around it, another path to walk or to even find a detour so we can avoid it all together.
We love to pop cheap pain-relievers and find antidotes for suffering.

Because as humans we’re more comfortable with a cure than with healing.

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No joke this just happened…as I sat here tonight at a cafe trying to find a moment to myself and type this thing out a minister who I’ve spoken to a couple of times walked over and asked what the Drs were saying about Joe’s curability.

And honestly I get it-
I’ve been there so many times.

I too want to know how this thing is going to really play out…not just in the days to come but in the months and years as well.

You see,
I used to pray for God to take away all of our suffering, all the hard and ugly days that never seemed to fully leave.
I used to beg for him to bring us peace from seasons like this so we could move onto the ‘better days’ of life.
I really truly believed that we somehow got lost in the hard while others were living their own version of the ‘good life’.

I used to pray for God to cease these kinds of interruptions and tests until I realized these ‘interruptions’ were the work he’s been doing inside of us.

These unexpected seasons have been the shaping and molding within our hearts…
where wounds call for deeper understanding, where worries search for deeper worship and where burdens find their deeper joy.

But I’ve been finding its within our deep suffering we are given deep places to minister from.

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You see friend, every one of us has a beautiful, yet often unawakened gift to care, to sit inside another’s pain and the ability to listen to another’s wounded heart.
Because as humans I believe we’ve been gifted to feed the masses and even feed a stranger with our compassion.

Those who can sit with others in silence often not knowing what to say but knowing their presence is enough have the power to revive crippled hearts.

But why do we keep these gifts hidden embarrassed this is the gift we have to give?
Why is it that we will hand over a package of crackers before we’ll look into the eyes of a broken soul?
Why are words of comfort so hard for us to speak?
Why are we so quick to overlook one another for something greater and more pressing?

Perhaps, its because you’re a lot like me and we’re so full of our own stuff we struggle to clear enough room in our hearts to let another’s soul in.

You see, for us to truly receive another’s soul we must first choose to empty ourselves.

And friend, this is hard.
I’ve been trying to work on this myself lately.
Because the truth is sometimes its easier to draw a circle around us and forget the hard that’s surrounding us.

But this season of suffering didn’t come to us for us to separate ourselves like this…we’ve been entrusted to be a blessing.
And this is the hardest lesson of all.
That we might not wait for this season to pass us by for God to be seen but that even WITHIN the hardest of days we would allow God’s strength, his power and his Holy Spirit to be experienced all around us.

And some days I honestly don’t get this thing right, because the human side of me wins.
But I’m learning every day that a piece of this is gracing myself with the same amount of compassion I’m sharing with others and it’s doing something beautiful inside of me.
It’s ministering within the walls of my soul as it bleeds over to those closest to me as well.

And sometimes its funny but God does the amazing work of allowing my shortfalls to become the sweetest place his miracles are seen.

Because forgiveness isn’t felt unless its needed.

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So friend, if you’ve been wondering if you’ve been doing this well I encourage you instead of measuring it by the things you’re getting right try counting the ways God’s being seen through your brokenness.
And perhaps through our mutual sharing of vulnerability God will be seen the most vividly through our weaknesses..

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This sweet friend is really where our worship over worry has been the most real for us.
Because its when our hearts have been feeling all too heavy and our hearts have felt overwhelmed with questions that we push play and fix our hearts and minds on Him.

It’s where we feel the most alive
-where God is reviving our hearts and breathing life into our lungs.
It’s where we climb into heaven’s presence and let them do the fighting for us and we surrender all control to God.
We do this not as ones who have arrived but as ones who are seeing glimpses of what is to come, ones who are finding the source of where our joy comes from and ones who know we can’t make it without the ONE we find here in our presence every.single.time.

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Our song this week has been Whole Heart by Hillsong United.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living Life Honestly

There are times in our lives when everything’s going great and we want more of God…you know more of the GOOD more of his BLESSINGS more of his STRENGTH,
so we ask him to work in our lives. 

But we overlook something vital…
-in order for God to do this…we must become weak for him to become strong

And when this truth begins to unfold and we see what might have to happen in order for God to bring those blessings…
we find ourselves in the middle of something far beyond what we ever hoped for and we cry out to God from the valley.


We wonder how he could’ve ever misunderstood blessings for suffering strength for weakness or the hills for the valley…

We find our self broken with our ourselves in the middle of a valley but THIS friend is where God works…

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Let me invite you into our story a bit deeper…
just beware it may cause you some conflict and even bring forth a rush of uncertainty because honestly that’s what faith under fire does…

And please know I’m not here to give you answers to all of these uncertainties.
I’m merely here to let you know that if you’re feeling a bit worn down by life, a bit unsure of what’s to come or a bit unseen…I’m here too.

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Joe and I came to Dallas nine years ago. 
At the time God was calling Joe, I was resisting.
And honestly it was because we had served God for over twenty years and I was ready for an easier assignment. 

I wanted blessings without suffering. 

I wanted an easier assignment with a beautiful house, a big front porch to drink our tall glass of tea on. 

I wanted an assignment near family, we’d lived apart from our family for so many years and I longed to spend holidays with our family surrounding us. 

I wanted to serve God in a healthy church that was full of blessings.

Friend, truthfully I even sketched these desires on the pages of a journal asking God to give them to us.

Because we had spent twenty or more years serving God and depending on him in ways and honestly,
I was worn out. 
Tired of being surrounded by brokenness, tired of being hurt even by those inside the church’s walls and ready for him to rescue us…
I felt we deserved a break from the struggle, relief from this kind of living…

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Have you ever been here?

I’m sure you have because we all have battles we’re fighting…
Some in the walls of our homes and some waging so big inside of our hearts and minds we long for our brokenness to be redeemed. 

But friend, the way God does his work isn’t ever the way we would and thank goodness it’s not.

Because nine years ago if we’d followed my leading, my wants oh what a mess we’d be in…
We would be left celebrating others’ stories of bravery and we would have missed the story he’s writing in our lives. 

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Sure, we’re breaking but we’re also healing. 

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Because sometimes friend we can break from this kind of trial so much we see his   testimony happening within us as he puts us back together. 

And that’s what’s life about sometimes, isn’t it?

It’s about him being seen in the reflection of our lives more than us…

And I’ll admit lately I’ve felt so many times as if my heart couldn’t break any more until I remember God knows how to put hearts back together because after all he is the maker of them all…

So, I’ve been walking through these days a whole lot different lately realizing this is where true blessings get birthed…
Because friend, even though our feeds are full of people ‘living their dreams’ buried beneath their bright and shiny filters are hearts full of brokenness too. 

Inside each of us lies a deep need for God who restores us through and through. 

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When Joe’s cancer first began and we first learned of how they were going to aggressively treat it, Joe asked his Oncologist a question that surfaces almost daily.

He said, 
Doctor if you’re killing what’s killing me, what’s going to bring me back to life?

Because friend, when life feels like it’s crushing down on us so hard it’s pressing the life out of us
-we all want to know how we’re going to survive…

And to our surprise the Doctor responded to Joe with…’Joe your blood will..’

That’s right even in the midst of the treatments killing every one of his cells somewhere long ago, God made a way for Joe’s blood to save his life.

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You see when our arms are lifted up in complete brokenness-
this is where God puts lives back together. 

And friend it’s in these seasons of suffering when God crashes into our lives and leaves not even one ember of the fire on us as he walks us out the other side… 
Yes, I’ve felt weaker than ever friend but it’s in these times of utter exhaustion God is working the most. 

And it’s here we uncover his blessings, blessings so different than the world offers and yet felt so much more deeply too. 
Because these are the kind of blessings that heal broken marriages, bring children back home to God and the kind of blessings that heal broken bodies. 

Because God always brings unusual blessings.

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And nine years later I can truthfully say
-we are seeing these blessings…
We are experiencing restoration all around us and even within ourselves down into our cells. 

So friend, if you’re in the middle of something and wondering if God got it all wrong I encourage you to come along side of heaven and worship Him. 

Press play on that playlist and remember his goodness and faithfulness…

Because whether you’re in the valley or soaring over mountain tops God is worthy of praise…

And know sweet friend you are never standing in this alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life in the Middle

It’s odd that here we are in the middle of our lives and we’re finding ourselves in the middle of a lot of things lately…

In fact these exact words were spoken over us this past week at the doctor’s office….
                                          ‘Well, you’re in the middle of this…’

At first they stung.
Because it feels like we’ve been fighting this thing for a long time and we honestly were hoping it would be over soon.

But sometimes this is how it is.

It’s hard living in the middle of our story when so much is unknown.

It’s hard living in a broken body. 

It’s hard being in a season of accumulating scars.

Yet friend I’ve been learning something…
What we do in the middle really matters.
In fact the middle of our story tells of how we finish. 

Because how we serve God in the middle of the valley and the dark shadows speaks the loudest in our story. 

You see, any one of us can have an amazing story of survival but how we fight for our faith in the midst of it, is what strikes the deepest chords within souls.
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This makes me think of Job’s story.
As he was sitting in the middle of his suffering with burning sores all over his flesh and the burden of extreme loss weighing down upon him the voice which was the closest begged him to curse God. 

I might have been tempted…

I may have even wondered if what I believed about God was really true. 
For Job was a righteous man who faithfully followed God. 

I may have even been tempted to turn away from God. 

But Job did something different. 
He didn’t give into his feelings of grief and pain but instead he chose to cling to God. 

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Maybe today friend you’re waiting desperately in the middle of your story praying for a miracle.
And you’re wondering if God really sees you. 

Well, I can tell you he sees you and he feels your pain.
So much that he made a way for you…
for your rescue and your freedom. 
In fact so much so that he chose death to buy it for you. 

I know this because it’s in my story too.

And the way our family is getting through our life in the middle right now as we wait to see if this thing has killed ever single cancer cell
-is we’re choosing to worship. 

Because waiting is painful all by itself.
It often makes us believe that everything must be wrong and it’s where hope feels a bit like hurt. 

But waiting isn’t a passive act of giving up.
Just ask the parent who’s waiting on their knees for their broken child to find their wholeness
-Waiting is the complete opposite!

Worship is the brave and courageous stance of those who are waiting on God for his deliverance.

It’s the way a warrior prepares for battle.
Because every brave war isn’t merely won on the battlefield, but in hospital rooms and within the secret spaces of worn-out hearts.

It’s the pause a gardener takes for a wilted plant to become revived…
resisting the urge to uproot it.

And friend if God brings even wilted plants back to health, doesn’t he care so much more for us?

I know every situation doesn’t get resolved here on earth.
Some are so precious to him he does the healing face-to-face in the presence of all of heaven. 

And some days I really struggle with this. 
It’s hard to watch others suffer.
It’s hard to bury love.
It’s hard to not understand it all.
And while I may not always feel hope-full, I’ve lived long enough to know worship is a verb and it’s something God’s given us to do…
it’s honestly where God’s power is birthed. 

So, although He may take from us…he may even ask something very hard of us…we will choose to praise him…
So friend, although we may have to walk over ruins and weather storms…

We will walk through them with our hands and hearts lifted to God.

‘I raise a Hallelujah…In the presence of my enemies…Louder than my unbelief…’

 

 

Scars Bear Proof of Our Battles

It’s Thursday evening and I’m sitting in my home trying to do anything but sit down and type these words.

Yes, I love to write and I absolutely love words.
And I really do want to tell you what my heart is feeling but the truth is I’ve been having a terrible time putting them into words lately.

And the past few weeks I’ve stumbled multiple times over my words and walked away from conversations wondering what I’ve just spoken.

So please if you run into me and find I’m not answering your questions well or don’t seem like myself…
please know
-I’m not.

Because truthfully, I’ve been feeling quite off.
Its as if my brain and my heart aren’t communicating much these days
and I’m struggling to fill in the blanks.

It’s not the first time I remember feeling a bit like this but back then it lasted for years.

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When I was younger one of my biggest fears laid deep below…
You see, what’s being lived underneath is often where so much of stories really live…
and honestly for years I tried to hide what laid beneath the surface.

I was embarrassed and even afraid of being found out or even worse becoming known.
I was scared I would be someone no one would like.
I terribly feared I’d be overlooked or unseen.

All this laid deep within the secret spaces of my soul where I was grossly insecure about not being enough.
It was the giant-size insecurity that keeps people from becoming who God designed them to be.

I can remember not knowing what was up or down simply because I didn’t know myself, instead I armored myself protecting what laid deep inside.

But then years passed and all of the sudden this thing happened and I realized something different about myself…

I’d grown.
What once drove me no longer had a voice inside my head.

Those tapes I’d played for years had been erased and truth was recorded over what once spoke only lies.

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As she began unfolding her story on the other side of the table I felt my heart attaching itself to hers.
So many of the details told pieces of my story and I wondered how I ended up sitting where I was.

You see her story could’ve just as easily belonged to me.

But it didn’t…
Clearly something happened in the last thirty years for my life to be going in the direction it was.

I wonder if it was the blessing my Mom often prayed over me as I ran out the door or the way she and my Dad chose to give up their old way of living for a life of following God.

I wonder if it was the quiet prayers they daily spoke asking God to watch over their family.

I wonder if it was the times I pleaded for God to set me free from my insecurities and fill my empty spaces.

Or perhaps it was all of this and so much more….

You see, we don’t really know the extent of prayers said on our behalf…
and if we ever need reminded it’s in moments like this when we see just how much God’s been walking with us.

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I think this thing has been teaching me so much of what it means to be truly known and loved all at the same time.

As people have been vulnerably unfolding their stories with us lately I’ve been seeing how beautiful they wear their scars.
I know we live such filtered insta-stories where there’s really not a safe place to speak of battle wounds.
But the amazing thing is our scars tell brave stories of survival.

They tell of warriors and honestly we all have these kinds of stories if we’re willing to speak this kind of raw vulnerability.

Friend, I’m realizing so much about the power in sharing scars these days and how it allows others a safe place to pull up their sleeves and share a bit of their own story, maybe even fresh wounds they’re still trying to heal.

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It’s here life really is bravely lived when we choose to share our scars as proof of the brave battle we’re fighting and living to tell about…
this sweet one, is where God truly gets glorified through the healing of our scars.

Because nothing speaks louder than how someone survived something so devastating and is here to tell their brave story now.

Worship MORE and Worry LESS…

When something really hard & holy crashes into your home no one ever tells you that doing what you’ve always done might not be enough. 

Because first off that would be a rude way to care for a friend and secondly most of us don’t know what it takes to survive another person’s hard days. 

But sometimes we need that word.
We need to be told we might have to change in order to walk through the days ahead. 

Because sometimes we all need a reset…something to shift within our soul.

Because how we view God gives us a picture of ourselves.

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I never realized how much things could change for us. 
I never knew how Joe would rely on me somedays more than I leaned into him.
I never really understood how many people are going through their own version of hard and keep on going day after day. 
I never knew how many people are hiding secrets too afraid to be known. 

And mostly because we live our lives much of the same way day after day year after year viewing change as something we steer away from and do as little of it as possible. 

But sometimes change invites itself in and you have to do the adjusting…

Because if you don’t, you won’t survive….

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From the first day we heard of Joe’s diagnosis to the days we’re walking through now we’ve been learning to walk in a new rhythm…
 
You see friend,
I tried my ways for years…because that’s what we do, we do what we know and what we’ve always done. 

But life won’t always adjust like this.

Because sometimes its time to change.
And when we change something beautiful happens; everything around us begins to change too. 

Our priorities, our perspective and our people change-sometimes in small ways but often in much bigger ways than we’d ever expected. 

Because change does this…it doesn’t leave people or places the way it finds them.
And this is often a good thing. 

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A couple of months ago as we began sharing how we were going to fight this battle with worship we were asked a question something like this…

‘Are you sure this thing will really carry you through?
Like when it gets hard are you sure you want to make this kind of commitment to worship?’

I get it.

I really do.

Because at first this question got me thinking too.

You see I don’t like to make commitments I can’t keep and I don’t ever want to lead others somewhere I’m unable to go.

So I wondered what worship might really look like on the ugliest of days…When suddenly I heard an inner voice remind me that the One who led us here would also lead us through this. 

-I think we can sometimes walk through fires and not really see God until that massive explosion hits and then we search for him like never before.

This is what choosing worship has been for us.
It’s been a pursuit of finding God in the midst of the fire
Looking for him past the flames and even feeling him in the burn. 

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In this we’ve been finding how a worshipful life is an attentive life; as our eyes continue shifting from our struggle towards God.

Like Job who chose to praise God in the midst of so much pain we too have an invitation to find God in our circumstances.   

You see, when we chose Worship Over Worry we had no idea it would result in so many blessings…honestly I said the words as a desperate reach to not choose worry. 
But in it we’ve been finding how…
God is glorified…we’re strengthened…
and heaven is activated in worship.

And friend, there’s truly nothing more powerful than this. 
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Because although we’ll each face many valleys-
God’s here with us and he promises to walk us out the other side.
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Some people say brokenness is a curse but I truly believe God uses it to draw us into his presence…
And we must turn back to Jesus as many times as it takes for us to find ourselves in his presence. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Worshiping in Our Pain

Some things seem to break without any warning but most seem to crack over time, ever-so-slowly.
What begins as a hairline fracture quickly turns into something crippling, if its left unhealed.

And like things
-this happens to people too.

I can’t say it was one thing that broke me, because honestly it was much more than that.

Because brokenness has a way of worsening over time, if its left undone.

And as we’re spending these days walking through brokenness like never before we often look at each other and wonder how we’re getting through….
even though it may be a day,
an hour or even a moment we’re trying to make it through…
and even though things may feel unsteady most of the time we can feel ourselves holding tightly on
and even more
-we feel held.

Like the times…
When sorrow tries to steal our joy,
when fear tries to threaten our peace or when our bodies seem full of pain
we feel God sweetly sitting beside us.

It’s the reminders God’s been stringing throughout my days that have me resting in his care…it’s honestly the beautiful way others are loving us and glorifying God through their own hard struggles.

Its people spilling their own brave ink while their life seems to be falling apart. 

Its about how we’re inviting others into our lives to repair what feels so broken and feeling the blessing of being put back together…

And friends this is what God’s gift of life really is…
Its whole lot less about living and resting on top of the hill and so much more about how we walk through the valley.

Unlike Humpty Dumpty who couldn’t be put back together, we can.
Because Jesus did this. 
Our brokenness gets healed over and over again in Christ..and this is where our hope is resting. 

Recently as we were gathered around our dinner table a question that’s all too familiar to us came up. 

Joe, if they’re killing all of your cells, what’s going to bring you back to life?’

It’s a valid question and a familiar one as Joe asked his doctor the very same thing. 

And the answer is still mind-blowing to me, hard to fathom.
The cells will regenerate and rebirth life.

You see, often what happens in our world and even in Humpty Dumpty’s story there’s no valid offer given
-so people choose to numb their pain and remain broken. 

But honestly when the pain feels all too overwhelming or hard I’ve been hanging onto the truth that it will all be worth it… 
Because God will walk us out on the other side.

And friend,
this is true for you too.

The valleys we may walk through are not the end of our story. 

Although all the king’s men and all the king’s horses couldn’t put Humpty back together again…
Our King does not leave us broken…
OUR KING heals every single one of our broken places. 

Some here and others in heaven

But he heals all of our brokenness…
our broken dreams,
our broken bodies,
our broken relationships
and even our broken families. 

And this friend, is where we’re choosing to place our hope.

These broken cells that are needing regenerated continually remind us that life is a fight and it’s a costly one. 
Because it comes with pain and it may even take all we have but it also comes with the beautiful promise of God to be
our strength and our life. 

And for today we’re resting right here…
as we continue to choose
Worship Over Worry…

I’ve been learning so much about worship.
That worship is lifting our hands up to God in the good but also in the hard.
It’s letting God know we trust him when fear seems to be building, when life hurts and even when we don’t know how it will all work out.
It’s singing louder when it feels overwhelming and it’s calling all of heaven to help us fight this thing.
It’s our beautiful weapon in the middle of the night and the heat of day because it’s what we have to alert heaven that we need their help. 

So, if you don’t know what to do because your anxiety seems too much to bear…join us and sing with all of heaven tonight…fill your empty spaces with worship and you’ll find your worry subsiding in the presence of our Savior.
Worship Over Worry isn’t just something we’ve found to fill our days, its truly a gift from God…it’s our battle cry. 

And somedays crying out is the best thing we can choose to do…


A bonus just because I love you all and appreciate your prayers and support:

{The song that’s been blessing us this week is 
‘Turn your eyes Upon Jesus’ by Lauren Daigle} 

 

Broken Yet Blessed

Hey you who are feeling a little beaten up and broken lately,
I see you and I feel your ache.

Your hand that’s holding your weary head up and your tired heart that feels like its taken in all the pain it can
-Know that God is right beside you ready to carry you…
Every ache and every disappointment
you’re experiencing is seen and felt up in heaven’s presence. 

As we’ve been walking through this hard journey surrounded by so many traveling a hard journey of their own I’ve been feeling like spilling out a bit of what we’re gathering along the way.
Because our journeys are about more than the broken steps we take. 

Sometimes being human in all our flesh and bones can honestly be the scariest thing we do…because we know underneath lies a heart that holds insurmountable joy and yet experiences pain of its own kind. 
There are moments that the beauty of life takes our breath away and other times we’re breathless because we ache so deeply.

These past few months my eyes have been tracking so many lives being lived on the edge…
there’s an over awareness of the hard & holy happening over here. 

Because for some reason every thing else seems to be paling in contrast right now. 
I watch families gather around brave souls fighting and I wonder what we were all doing just months ago. 
And I like to believe strangers are handpicked by God for us to endure the fire beside. 

Yet I also know these hard times only exist for moments in years within our lives as none steal the totality of our existence. 

The cancer, that’s crashed into our lives RIGHT NOW won’t follow us to heaven’s door…
and for you,
whatever the broken hard you’re enduring RIGHT NOW will have no place in heaven for you either. 

Because where there’s God, there’s healing and new life.

And until then we have the gift of worship to experience God’s presence inside of.

Prior to all of this,
worship felt like something hard to choose much like a forced rhythm rather than a prayer graciously given to us. 

It’s a lot like the blossoms I buy plants for,
worship is a hidden gift  inside our relationship with God. 

A life-giving act.  

When we first chose to trade our worries in for worship God began untwisting our hearts and massaging their brokenness and heaven began ministering to our hurting hearts. 

The words we couldn’t find to pray,
the words we couldn’t form we found written in these songs.

Because in the hilltops of heaven sits God, who is so faithful….
who chooses to sit upon the summits and in the slopes with us all the same. 

And there really is no other way to get through the valley than to walk through it with God. 

Because even though our natural tendency is to worry, I’ve been realizing worry doesn’t invite God into our struggles, instead it pushes him aside. 

It denies God to act on our behalf and just gets us lost thinking in circles. 

When we first found the lump on Joe’s neck, we knew it wasn’t good, as it grew so fast. In fact it doubled itself in the matter of hours and tripled itself in just a day. 
By the next morning as we were getting ready I pressed play on a song and it was within those sacred moments that we found worship overcame worry.  

You see, worship for us through all of this has been a holy place of refuge-
a sacred place we’re meeting God. 

It’s here we’ve heard God whispering his big words as he’s reminding us that he will send down a rescue. 

So. over and over we return to his presence because it’s in these times we feel the strongest sense of this crazy battle being won. 
It’s in the worship that we see God fighting the battle for us and we experience him the most. 

And as we’re choosing Worship over Worry these days there’s others who are standing beside us worshiping through their own version of hard and somehow together we’re getting to watch all of heaven fight for each one of us…
Because that’s what worship does-
it unites as it heals and shows us we’re all on the same side with the One who is mightily fighting on our behalf. 

Because our scars become our stories.
They tell the brave things we’ve lived through.
They remind us of the battles we’ve bravely fought and won. 

And every one of us has these markings.  
Because underneath them lies real stories. 
Ones we’ve courageously fought…

So, if you’re facing some hard days of your own…
Know you’re surrounded by a room full of warriors facing their own brave stories as
each of us are fighting for our wounds to become scars that tell of our survival. 

Because on days like today friends the struggle is real…
even when it might just consist of staying up late to get these words written.
Because the truth is most days I don’t even know how to capture what’s happening over here. 

And I’m sure you would say the same about the life you’re living…the scars you’ve endured and those just beginning to heal…all have been given to us to tell our stories and to show we never fight alone…

So, stay brave dear one and continue trading your worries in for worship every time…
We will be fighting right beside you.